Dr. Greg wrote:I think it is safe to assume that Chinese girls studying abroad would be far more bound by their native cultural norms than the host country's norms in regard to dating, sex, and relationships.
Dr. Greg wrote:I think the Guide's chapter on Dating Etiquette and Sex would apply as much to them as it does to Chinese girls in China.
Dr. Greg wrote:Based on the questions she has asked you, I would say that Miss A is clearly vetting you as a potential husband.
Dr. Greg wrote:I also think it is unlikely that Miss B would have accepted two different invitations to have dinner with you outside of a group setting if she, too, were not interested in you as more than just a friend.
Dr. Greg wrote:If you are having trouble reading Miss B's intentions towards you, it is reasonable for you to initiate a discussion about how she feels: You can start by saying something very low-key about how you like her as more than just a friend and then ask how she feels.
Dr. Greg wrote:I don't think she would consider that to be too forward, not after two dates in addition to all the other time you two have spent together.
Dr. Greg wrote:Many will tell you that Shanghainese women are in a class all of their own. Smile.
Dr. Greg wrote:While those eight chapters on dating, sex, and relationships are intended to orient Western men to Chinese women and dating etiquette, they will certainly not apply equally well to all Chinese women.
It is prudent to orient yourself to cultural differences in dating etiquette but your best resources will be sensitivity and communication.
Dr. Greg wrote:Both of these girls appear to clearly like you. The best way for you to determine what is appropriate for them personally is to talk to them in a way that is not too forward and provides them with the opportunity to tell you how they feel.
Dr. Greg wrote:Chinese girls, as a rule, will tend to communicate how they feel far more in body language (meta-communication) than through words.
Dr. Greg wrote:As for what they are personally ready for emotionally, no guide or textbook can tell you that: only they can.
Dr. Greg wrote:Talk to them, respectfully, i.e., perhaps somewhat more indirectly than you would to a British girl--but don't be afraid to talk to them.
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