Dating, Sex, & Relationships

I work with this Chinese guy who I'm interested in. I'm a foreigner in China and we work for a government office. From when I started, this guy showed an interest in me and started asking me questions about myself, etc. Because we work in the same office I have been fairly shy and I get a feeling that he's been shy around me although at times flirting.

When I went away for Chinese New Year he wanted to know if I was going with a boy or a girl. He's also come over to my desk at work and started up conversations which I know are an excuse to talk to me.

When I went home in the summer for three weeks, I know he was pleased to see me when I got back.

I know that there are rules with locals dating foreigners in my company so I've always been not that expressive with him in the office.

Recently I discovered that for him to get promoted he needs to do an overseas post. He is going to another country in Asia in six weeks.

Because he's left our department I decided to text him and invite him out before I go back for Christmas, he replied immediately and we had dinner.

We spoke about the UK and the US (where he studied) and we also spoke about Chinese things. He asked lots of questions. I get a feeling he's interested in me. Although he has no idea I like him.

When I got home I SMSed him "it was nice to see you, I think you're lovely."

Him being Chinese and me a foreigner was that text too much or do you think he'll be happy that he received that? I'm now back in China and he never replied back to the message. Is that normal do you think? He is shy. Maybe he didn't want to express himself too soon.

Do you think I should contact him and let him know I'm back. Over that dinner he did ask where I was for New Year. I'm just a bit concerned he never replied to my message... although maybe he didn't think to reply if it wasn't a question. I'm now worried I sent that message and slightly apprehensive to message him.

Thanks!

Why do you think he has no idea you are interested in him? In Chinese culture, a woman would not ask a man out for dinner unless she was very interested (assuming the dinner was not business related).

In the Chinese language and culture, their word for lovely, kě'ài, would never be used to describe an adult male. It’s only used to describe women and children and translates more closely to our use of "adorable" or "cute." That may have thrown him and could explain why he hasn’t replied. Nevertheless, this is not a deal breaker.

You could send him another message to the effect: “My use of words in the past may not have translated well from English to Chinese. I am free for New Year’s Eve if you would like to get together. I would really like that.”

If he's genuinely interested, he will reply to you.