If you go back and take a careful look at my above reply, you'll see that I don't specifically state that the act of lying by omission would be "psychologically painful" for all Chinese women.
It is true that there are very different cultural norms in regard to interpreting distortions of the truth for the distinct purpose of saving and giving face. In the West, anything but the truth is a lie regardless of intent or motivation. In China, a lie is only a lie if the intent was to deceive (as opposed to saving or giving face). If a subordinate praises his supervisor for his "outstanding" English language skills, this is not viewed as a lie--even if the supervisor can't speak more than four words of English--because both parties understand what is intended by this gesture.
To state that most Chinese women can lie to their future husbands with total impunity, i.e., without any guilt, is simply incorrect if not racist.
I treated one Chinese woman who had a very "colorful" sexual history with men and made a point of lying about it to each new beau in her life. On the other hand, I also worked with a 33-year-old woman who had once been engaged to an Englishman back when she was 25. The relationship ended after two years and as each subsequent Chinese male prospect learned about it, that relationship too would end. She had loved this Western man very much and refused to lie about or denounce him to anyone even if it meant staying forever single. This type of scenario is not nearly as uncommon as you might think.
Finally, face-saving strategies are quite different with husbands and wives than they are with casual acquaintances and coworkers. For example, a girl might completely deny ever having had sex in front of her girlfriends (without one iota of guilt) but will honestly disclose that fact with a future husband, albeit in the least damaging manner possible and, very likely, in a way that makes herself come across as a victim, e.g., "he told me he loved me and that we were going to get married" (assuming, hypothetically, that this was untrue in that the sex was intended as casual).
Many object-relations theorists believe that sociopathy is a subset of low-level (closet) pathological narcissism and it is true that narcissistic personality disorder is disproportionately overrepresented in China. These sociopathic (antisocial) tendencies were tragically put on international display quite recently when a little 2-year-old girl was run over not once but twice while bystanders watched and did absolutely nothing to help her (see Bystanders’ Neglect of Injured Toddler Sets Off Soul-Searching on Web Sites in China
). Nevertheless, we cannot argue that all or even most Chinese are sociopaths.
Believe it or not, there are decent Chinese women out there who value honesty in their relationships.